She Survived, But That’s Not the Whole Story
The Silence That Spoke Loudest
I remember the silence more than the shouting. The kind of quiet that hums with control — when love starts to sound like manipulation and peace feels like walking on eggshells. I remember standing in front of the mirror, heart racing, asking myself, “Who am I without their approval?” My scars weren’t visible, but they were real, etched by emotional, verbal, and financial abuse. The kind that chips away at your confidence until you start to believe the lie that you’re too much, too needy, too broken. But here’s what I know now: I wasn’t broken. I was being rebuilt. The real story wasn’t just what I endured, it was how I rose.
The Lie That Tries to Linger
October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month, and yet, for many women, awareness isn’t enough. Abuse doesn’t always leave bruises. Sometimes, it leaves confusion. Isolation. Fear disguised as love. And when you finally leave, the silence that follows can feel even louder. Statistics tell one story, but not the whole one. 1 in 3 women will experience some form of intimate partner violence in her lifetime, but emotional, verbal, and financial abuse are often overlooked. They don’t make headlines, but they destroy homes, hearts, and hope just the same.
The Truth I Had to Learn
Here’s the truth I had to learn, and so must you: Being a victim doesn’t make you less worthy.
Worth doesn’t disappear when someone mishandles you. It doesn’t expire because someone couldn’t see your value. It’s not something they can take; it’s something you must remember. Healing is not about pretending it never happened. It’s about honoring what did and choosing to rise anyway. Healing is holy. It’s reclaiming your voice, restoring your peace, and remembering that you are not the sum of what you survived.
I used to think survival was the goal. Now I know: Thriving is.
How We Begin Again
If you’re reading this and you’ve been controlled, belittled, or financially silenced, hear me clearly, you are not crazy. You are not weak. You were manipulated by someone who mistook control for love.
Here’s how you start to reclaim yourself:
Speak truth over silence. You don’t have to tell the world but tell yourself the truth. That’s where power begins.
Rebuild your sense of safety. Create peace wherever you are, even if it’s just lighting a candle and whispering a prayer.
Relearn your voice. Write. Sing. Journal. Pray. Cry. Do whatever it takes to reconnect with the woman you were before the pain.
Reinvest in you. The same energy you poured into survival, pour into your healing.
You don’t need permission to leave. You need conviction to live.
When You Stop Fighting for What’s Killing You
Abuse, whether physical, emotional, verbal, or financial, doesn’t just break your heart; it drains your soul. It sucks the life and light out of you until you can’t recognize the woman staring back in the mirror. The damage runs deeper than words can explain. It touches your peace, your health, your confidence, your sleep, your very essence. It’s like your entire wellness bank has been overdrafted. But when you finally walk away, when you choose freedom, something miraculous begins to happen. Your stress levels start to balance. Your body begins a biological detox. Your skin clears. Your shoulders drop. You can breathe again, and the air in your lungs belongs to you. You are coming home to yourself. You are no longer fighting for what’s been killing you. You are no longer calling exploitation submission. You are free. You are healing. You are home.
You Are the Story of Worth Itself
When I speak to women who’ve endured emotional or financial abuse, I don’t see weakness, I see warriors. Women who held everything together while falling apart inside. Women who found ways to provide, nurture, and lead even when love cost too much.
You are not what happened to you, you are the proof that healing happens.
You are worthy of peace. You are worthy of love. You are worthy of financial freedom and emotional safety.
Your story is not one of shame, it’s one of strength.
This month, as the world raises awareness for domestic violence, let us raise awareness for worth.
Because healing is not the end of your story, it’s the beginning of your becoming. And I survived, not only for me, but for my children, so they would grow up knowing what a healthy, loving, and God-centered relationship truly looks like.
